8.Chuck E. Cheese – Chuck E. Cheese’s
At least Quiznos had the courtesy to call their deformed rodents Spongmonkeys. Chuck E. Cheese, however, is a rat. Period. And rats and food don’t mix! Giant rats aren’t exactly nice to think about either, especially when they’re so large that jumping on a chair fails to provide an effective escape route.
Interestingly, in 2012, Chuck E. Cheese was reinvented as a guitar-playing mouse voiced by pop punk band Bowling for Soup’s lead singer Jaret Reddick.
7.Chick-fil-A Cow – Chick-fil-A
“In 1995,” reads the Chick-fil-A website, “a renegade cow, paintbrush in mouth, painted the three words ‘EAT MOR CHIKIN’ on a billboard. From that day forward, the burger-eating landscape would forever be changed.” Indeed.
Barnyard animals have turned from promoting their own early demise (like Jollibee’s Chickie mascot) to promoting each other’s. How sweet.
6. Mr. Taco – Taco Bell
Lesser-known Taco Bell mascot Mr. Taco is clearly sub-par compared to the company’s famous chihuahua, Gidget, who starred in commercials from 1997 to 2000. The chihuahua was both funny and clever, while this oversized food item is quite the opposite – and slightly creepy to boot!
5.The Noid – Domino’s Pizza
The Noid was a weird-looking, villainous little creature with long rabbit ears who wore a skintight red jumpsuit. This odd mascot appeared in ads, attempting to ruin pizza by freezing it. But the Noid always failed, thanks to Domino’s new heat-retaining pizza boxes. According to Marketography.com’s Gregory Dean, the Noid was a “short-lived marketing trend that caused more confusion than confidence.”
Interestingly, in 2001, a Domino’s customer by the name of Kenneth Noid held two Domino’s employees hostage for five hours, threatening them with a .357 Magnum revolver. He thought that the ads were a personal attack against him. As reported in Time, “When police arrived, he [Noid] demanded $100,000 in cash, a getaway car and a copy of TheWidow’s Son, a 1985 novel about secret societies in an 18th-century Parisian prison.
4.HamBurglar – McDonald’s
And the Noid isn’t the only inspirational mascot out there. Criminally-minded McDonald’s mascot, the HamBurglar, has also inspired real-life miscreants. In 2012, the Kennebec Journal reported that a “Hamburger Bandit” in Augusta, Maine snagged a bag of take-out from a drive-in McDonald’s just as it was being passed from the restaurant to the waiting customer.
And as far as creepy credentials go, you don’t get much creepier than a one-toothed, perpetually smiling, hamburger-stealing bandit, do you?
3. The Burger King – Burger King
As if his big plastic head and sinister smile weren’t bad enough, the makers of the Whopper used commercials featuring “The Burger King” peering in through people’s windows and sneaking into bed with them! Does that make you crave a burger? No? Well, you’re not alone. According toForbes, Burger King suffered during The King’s reign because they were trying to push a cool, edgy brand image. And although their commercials won awards for creativity, they weren’t selling as many burgers and fries as McDonald’s. In 2011, Burger King finally ditched the King.
Cohen says the King failed fundamentally as a mascot because he didn’t connect the brand to customers, and that’s where mascots can really make a difference.
2.Spongmonkeys – Quiznos
As much as they look like roadkill rodents, these dubious creatures are actually called Spongmonkeys, and they began as an Internet phenomenon. Still, whatever you call them, they’re downright hideous! We don’t know about you, but flattened and broken-toothed guitar-playing rats with strange wiggly eyes don’t give us much of an appetite. According to Time, “The weirdo ads did a fine job of creeping everyone out and, at the least, got people talking about Quiznos.” And as the well-known adage goes, any publicity is good publicity.
1. Ronald McDonald – McDonald’s
When it comes to creepy mascots, you don’t get any scarier than kid-loving clown Ronald McDonald. Thanks to Stephen King’s It and John Wayne Gacy, clowns will never be seen the same way again. And as the face of one of the most hated (albeit super-successful) fast food companies in the world, Ronald has become a kind of target for anti-consumerism (and even Americanism).
This 1960s incarnation of Ronald is even more terrifying than the modern version. “I like to do everything boys and girls like to do,” says Ronald in the ad. And the accompanying music is up there with Pee-wee Herman’s theme tune.
Worse yet, according to The Telegraph, coulrophobia, the fear of clowns, “can cause panic attacks, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea and feelings of dread.” Care for some fries with that?
